PRESS RELEASE

UNIQUE NEW PRODUCT LAUNCHED IN POLAND

[Gemma- pls ask Larry about subhead when he gets back from court. DO NOT let him give the game away: make the editors read how wonderful we are before revealing any news in the second from last para. also, make them call us for any useful information. this story is so hot we'll be beating them off!!!!. *dont forget to remove this note this time Gemma*]

AdVaNcEd ReSUlts (NYSE:ARSE) TEchnOLOgy Inc. Corp. Ltd. has announced that it is a Georgia, AZ based company that has been at the forefront of the industry since it was founded by Larry J.R. Hankler Sr in 1908. AdVaNcEd ReSUlts (NYSE:ARSE) TEchnOLOgy Inc. Corp. Ltd. has already issued five press releases this year, out of its Georgia, AZ office, another measure of its rampant success. Last year the company won several awards for its market and world leading technology, some of which were not awarded by affiliated organisations.

Asked about the new product, PRESIDENT and CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Larry J.R. Hankler jr said: "It is red." VICE PRESIDENT OF MARKETING AND PROMOTION and AUTHOR OF THIS RELEASE Anne Saphone said: "We are delighted to be working with world famous Zzkjo Manufacturing on this project. We are both the best companies in the world and will synergise and combine our core competencies to ensure a leading synergistic competent position in the industry. The product is unique. There are quite simply very few like it."

The unique product has recently secured world peace, as evidenced by the attached grainy JPEGs of US President Bill Clinton holding a packet in Israel and Ireland recently. A White Office spokesman confirmed Sweeties had secured world peace, saying: "Just because Bill Clinton was carrying a packet on his peace keeping mission, it does...mean that they're responsible for his success. He is a world class politician whose success does...rely on his choice of confectionery."

PRESIDENT and CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Larry J.R. Hankler jr says: "My staff are loyal enough to suck up to me and quote me whenever they're writing press releases. Our company is extremely well positioned with its advanced infrastructure to support the industry advancement into the year 2000 and beyond."

Note to Editors:

• Sweeties are the world leading unique multicoloured blue red and green confectionery sweets, eaten the world over.
• Sweeties and most of the people on this page are registered trade marks of ARSE
• Our office is in Georgia, AZ
• Poland is an Eastern European country with a population of
• This press release is emailed, so we've left off any useful contact details
• Please send a copy of any coverage to our Georgia, AZ, office because we never read your publication and our jobs depend on doing so
• If you require any further information, just wait a couple of days for our next release.

Contact details:
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